My weekend sucked, for so many reasons. My brother was kicked out of rehab (shocking) and called my mom, crying on Friday night. So, in turn, my mother called me, crying hysterically. She didn’t know what to do. The thought of leaving her son, sitting in a state where he didn’t know anyone or anything, was out of the question for her. So, at 10PM Friday night, I took my hysterical mother to Wal-Mart to wire $220 to her stranded son so he could catch the next greyhound back to Cincinnati.
Mom had a migraine. She was in bad shape, shaking so hard she could barely fill out the form to transfer the money. I helped her and then took her home, not before pulling over so she could vomit into the parking lot. My brother called her at least 4 times during all of this.
Yesterday, my mom called me about 10AM, sobbing again, begging me to take her to the ER. She couldn’t stop throwing up. So, I got ready and took her. You know my mom is in bad shape when she is wiling to go to the ER for some medicine. We were there for 6 hours. By the time we left, she had almost no pain but was extremely tired, since the medicine they gave her pretty much knocked her out (for about 4 hours). I stopped by the store to get her some ginger ale and some Diet Coke. I took her home, put her to bed and went home. I stopped by Skyline to get some food (all I had on my stomach was a cup of coffee) and it made me sick... I’m not sure if I waited to long to eat or just if the Skyline didn’t agree with me but I was nauseas and sporting a headache of my own. So, I spent the rest of the evening between the bathroom and my bed.
In the last week, my parents have given my brother $440 dollars to get him to Minnesota and back. Do you realize that’s $10 away from what my rent is? IN ONE WEEK. And I’m struggling. I need new tires on my car, in the worst way. I still owe about $500 on my root canal. (I had to put another $200 on my Care Credit card for the temporary crown I got a few weeks ago, or I’d be further ahead on paying that off.) I’ve spent a lot of time running around town for my mother in the past 2 weeks so I’ve spent more money on gas. I helped my dad earlier this month with his groceries. All of the sudden, I feel like I can’t get ahead.
This whole situation between my brother and my parents is really affecting me. I try so hard to do the right thing. I’m the responsible one. I go to work, I pay my bills, I’m there when I need to be and James is the one who gets all the help. How is that even fair?
My great Aunt died on the 18th. I didn’t know her that well, it was more sad for me because my grandmother’s family is all gone now. Her funeral was this past Thursday. It was hard but nice. It was small, mostly just family and I was happy to have honored her in a way she would have appreciated. She left me a gold ring. It’s nice and I was incredibly touched. Is it bad that I wondered how much it was worth? Or why she couldn’t have left me the money instead? Am I ungrateful or what?
Moving out was the best decision I ever made. It truly was but it’s hard. I won’t lie. And some days, I almost wish (ALMOST) that I didn’t move out of my mother’s. (Mostly just so I could shop without worrying about paying bills =)) But, watching what my parents are going through and how much money my brother is getting, it makes me bitter and resentful.
That’s what I’m feeling, bitter and resentful. I’m not even angry anymore. I’m tired, somewhat depressed and bitter. It’s not really a good feeling. I debated on whether or not I should write this out on my blog or not but here it is.
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