Lynn pulled me into her office yesterday morning to tell me that they didn’t feel I was ready and Elaine would be taking over the team. Isn’t that nice? I was not informed of this prior to her moving over. I was just basically told, in no uncertain terms, this is the way it will be.
I’m devastated. These last few weeks have been really hard and this was the ONE thing I had to look forward to. Well, not anymore.
I cried yesterday. I left here to go home (to re-do my face) and sobbed all the way to my apartment. I washed my face when I got home, redid my makeup and came back. I can’t even begin to tell you how hard it was for me to come back.
I’ve told a few friends and my parents about my promotion, what do I tell them now? I’m so embarrassed and to be honest, I feel humiliated and betrayed. There was never any time to train me for this new position, we’ve all been so busy and last I’d heard, DeAnna was going to remain lead and I’d train with her as I could. The rug was pulled out from underneath me yesterday.
So is my life.
I just have to make it through today and then I’m off tomorrow. And as irony would have it, I get to house/dog sit for Lynn this weekend. I’d rather just hole up in my apartment and come out when things seem nicer.
If I didn’t need this job, I would have walked out yesterday. I’m so tired of feeling like I’m not good enough, in my personal life and in my work life. I’m struggling to swallow a lot of things lately. I’m hoping this is something I can just work through.
The palm reader I saw in December said this would be a great year for me. I’d be happy and find my soul mate.
Well, so far, this year has completely sucked. I’d like to kick Mister Palm Readers ass.
Let me just make it through today with no tears.
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