Taking a break.

This thing seems harder and harder for me to keep up with anymore. And it’s my own fault. I get really distracted by things and always forget to focus on the positives. I talked to my therapist about it actually, since this was originally her idea and she said if I can’t do it one day, not to beat myself up about it (I do, believe it or not). And to try not to make it so complicated, to keep it simple. If I only have one thing a day, that’s fine. If it’s just something simple like “The sun is out”, that’s fine too.

There has been so much going on in my family recently. *sigh* James is using again and stealing money. It’s been difficult and to be honest, it’s slowly killing my mother. I’ve tried to help when I can but it’s difficult. I have a hard time knowing when to help and when not to help. It’s been a hard time for me. It’s hard on so many levels. I’m a “fixer”. I am the type of person who wants to have the answers and solve the problems. It’s difficult for me when there is no solution from my end, other then emotional support. I wish I knew why my brother was this way, I wish I knew what made him make these choices for himself, but I don’t. And I can’t always have the answers.

So, for now, I’m going to take a break. I’ll let it rest for awhile and maybe use this blog for more of a journal and post positives when I think of them.