Update

So, I thought I'd put it out there for anyone who cares, I'm okay. I've had a few people tell me that they're worried about me. I'm okay. I really am. Yes, I'm still really hurt and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it, a LOT. I'm distracted by it and sometimes I lay in bed at night and rehash everything over the past two months. I miss him. I miss talking to him (we talked, literally, every day) and his sense of humor. I think that's what I miss the most. He made me laugh. I miss seeing him, even though we only saw eachother a handful of times. He was the first guy to stay at my apartment.

I guess there is no sense in dwelling on it or talking about it all the time. So, I don't mention it. I keep my thoughts to myself for the most part (besides this blog.)

I really thought this might turn into something and it really hurts that it didn't. It hurts that I let my guard down only to get cut off. It hurts that he let it go as far as he did only to shut me off, after (it seems), he got what he wanted. But, I guess we're both adults and I let it go as far as it did...so he isn't the only one to blame. It hurts to see everyone around me have what I want. I don't understand (and I never will) why I can't have it too.

So, yeahhhhh....I'm okay but I'm still hurting.