I got some news from David on Friday that hurt me so bad that I cried most of the afternoon and into the evening. In short, he admitted to me that he was a sex addict and he had a problem. Then he went on to share that our most intimate times together meant nothing to him and he hadn’t had a meaningful relationship in a very long time. This news just devastated me. It made me feel like the last 10 years and what memories I did have from our relationship, were a lie. I felt dirty and used from our “moment” on July 4th. And all he could say was “Yeah. Sorry.” I threw up from being so upset and crying so much. He went on to say he’d been paying “escorts” and was broke; he had to admit his problem to his mother so that he could have money to survive. After the “escort” comment, I freaked. It was David’s suggestion that I get “tested” even though he’s been tested and assured me everything was fine. I’m still hurt just writing this out. I can't even go into what happened on Saturday right now.
I went to Joanie’s Friday night, only because I felt obligated to go. Her little boy did make me smile, more then once. I went to Wal-Mart with Joanie to buy some canning supplies and bought him some cowboy stuff. He walks around calling everyone partner and says howdy. It’s the cutest thing. He LOVED what I bought him (and it was only $5.00.)
Saturday, I spent the day with Tina; we saw Eat, Pray, Love. It was a wonderful movie. We did some shopping and then I waited until Brad was done at the wedding he was in and I headed down there.
Brad is amazing and I’m truly lucky to have met him when I did. I can’t even go into how much he helped me this weekend. It was nice to go to his place and just cocoon myself in his apartment with him. I felt very safe and loved. It was very hard to leave his apartment yesterday.
That's all for now. I'll write more on the David situation as I feel up to it.
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