Grrrr...

So, my headache was mostly gone when I left here last night. I had dinner with my dad and took him to the store. It was a nice dinner, dad was laughing and making jokes, I cheated and had French Toast for dinner (hey, it's been a rough week so far). I was in a pretty good mood when I left dad. Well, Jason had asked that I call him when I left my dads. He always says stuff like this so I just figured I'd call him when I got home.

Today is Health Food day here at Amstan so I had stuff to make when I got home anyway. Well, when I got home, my mom asked me to ride out to Marti's with her (her Mary Kay director) so she could pick up a couple of things that a few people had ordered. I said sure. We ran out there and ended up being out there a lot longer then I planned.

Well, Jason texted me and asked where I was so I told him. I told him I was at my moms friends house, picking up some stuff with her and I'd be home soon. Jason had a COW.

He has to go out of town today for work and has to be in Paducah, KY (about 6 hours away) until probably next Tuesday. He JUST told me this on Tuesday night. He wanted to see me before he left town but didn't tell me that. Evidently, I was supposed to follow his orders and call him when I left my dads. In my defense, he always says things like "call me when you're done" or "call me when you're free" so I didn't think anything of it and I really didn't plan on being out with my mom for two hours.

So, we had this HUGE fight about how he needs more from me and how he wants to see me ALL the time but he's being patient and trying not to push me. Um, well, we've been out like 4 times. What is there to be patient about? Last time I checked we were DATING and I didn't know dating came with this GIANT commitment. He went on and on about how I was so busy (I was at Lynn's for 2 weeks and then on vacation for a week) and then I got sick (like I did this on purpose) and how he's not trying to be pushy or demanding but he'd like to see me more then once or twice a week.

I reminded him that I had commited to dog sitting and my Idaho plans LONG before I met him and I wasn't giving up my life just for some guy I was dating (I worded it a bit nicer then that) and how if he wasn't trying to be demanding, he would be okay with two times a week. The sickness (migraines) is not something I asked for or planned. I'm tired of hearing how "patient" he is. I've been single for 2 years. I'm used to do things my own way and I'm not used to letting someone else in. I explained all of this to him weeks ago. I was honest about being nervous about getting involved and honest with how I felt. I told him it would have to take some time and we'd have to go slow. My therapist said I should be honest about how I feel (which is extremely hard for me given some of my previous relationships). According to Jason, he's being patient with my request. W T F?

I was so mad last night that my headache came back full force and I was shaking by the time we hung up.

I've put up with little remarks from his family about being "expensive" and how his mom apologized for introducing him to someone "broken" (he said she was kidding, after I mentioned it last night)...

I told him I was done arguing. I told him I had been single for 2 years and this was all an adjustment for me and I'm sorry I'm so lousy at this. I cried when I hung up. He apologized all over himself and just said he really likes me and wants to prove to me how nice he is and how he'll never hurt me and he's not like all the other guys I've dated...blah blah blah.

I still have a headache this morning.

And I woke up late (from staying up to cook that thing for today and being on the phone with Jason until 11:30) and I had to rush around to get ready this morning. I still had to run to Kroger to pick up something last minute and Jason ASKS ME TO STOP BY ON MY WAY TO WORK (which granted, it's right on my way) so he could see me before he left. Yes, I know, it's sweet but honestly, I was running behind and really didn't have time. I made the time and stopped to give him a hug before he left town for 5 days. He seems happy now. I got mascara all over my face and hands from rushing around. *sigh*

I really think that there is something genetically wrong with me as far as relationships go. I'm obviously horrible at this.

Positives for yesterday: I got some free Mary Kay, I had a good dinner with my dad, for a few hours I didn't have a headache and I didn't murder Jason.